At a quarter to 30, with most of my contemporaries already married, about to marry, or with one or more kids to care for, here I am in my parents’ house, boasting of being the deputy administrator of household affairs, a title that exists only in my imagination.

“U-U, what’s for dinner?”

Eba and Egusi soup” I reply, rolling my eyes as I stroll towards the kitchen.

It’s because you’re still in this house. 

I’ll leave when it’s time.

While some half my age are already earning their pay, I’m here excited to be dashed 2k by my dad to buy the data I needed to publish what you’re now reading.

Arrant nonsense! Please grow up. My mind tells me.

Thank you, my daddy is not complaining. 

I applied to a place recently but was rejected, I called my mom on my way home, tearing up like a toddler. 

Are you for real? At your age, shoe size and marital status??

Lemme jaare. Is it a crime to cry? I know Jesus loves me.

I’ve been mood swinging for a few days, I know it’s between PMS and Satan’s tactics yet can’t help but feel dejected. 


 *sighs* That was blunt. Oh, to be a kid again.

Please someone should explain to me what this Adulting thing is really about. 

Because I’m beginning to think it’s some cheap form of blackmail. 

I don’t even know if I know what it means to be ready for it. 

What defines an adult? 

Is it about the many responsibilities that life randomly throws your way? Or is there more to it?

Do share your thoughts.






For the average Nigerian living in Nigeria, whether male or female, the good life is pretty much basic:

1. Settle down on time (aka get married between your mid 20s and early 30s, beyond that you’re a latecomer. In Nigeria, if you’ve not married, you’ve not arrived).

2. Find a good source of income (a white collar job or a thriving business venture or better still both, and earn above 100K in a month, at least).

3. Give your kids the best education you can afford (Primary, Secondary and Tertiary; all private schools if you can, because ASUU is a monster).

4. Build your own house(s) and buy your own car(s), whichever comes first. (It doesn’t matter if you fail to plaster the walls before you move into the house or your first car is a used 1980 Toyota model; As long as you’re a landlord and car owner, you’re successful).

5. Don’t die prematurely. There are a lot of unique but avoidable ways to die as an average Nigerian- RTAs, Armed Robbery Attacks, Fire Outbreaks and Medical Negligence, are just a few. (Nigerians love to live, no matter how bleak the future looks, after all a living dog is a better than a dead lion, na bible talk am. Ecclesiastes 9:4).

6. Retire to eat the fruits of your labor (i.e. your children get to graduate, start working, marry into wealth, make beautiful grandchildren, then relocate abroad where you can visit them as often as you want, after all they are your major investments!).

Maybe there are some individual twists to what I’ve mentioned based on personal interests, but no average Nigerian can deny relating to at least one of the above.

E go better” is the mantra of the Average Nigerian.
-It’s the reason we hustle (a refined name for struggling), from dawn to dusk just to make ends meet.
-It’s what we hope for every day of our lives, gathering in religious houses from week to week, holding special programs and giving special offerings, just to be blessed by the Almighty.
-It’s why we are restless and dissatisfied when others seem to be making better progress than we are.
In Nigeria, we thrive on sweat rather than sense, we own more buildings than we build people.

We are by nature myopic, more concerned about how we can get more rather than give more. Who wants to invest in a sick nation like Nigeria? The public civil servant just wants to collect his monthly salary and go home. There are bills to be paid, from DSTV monthly subscription to the Children’s school fees for the term.
The average Nigerian is less concerned about making any difference, whether local or global. Not the classroom teacher who just wants the day to end, not the nurse in the hospital ward already frustrated from the overwhelming workload and definitely not the police officer collecting bribes at the security checkpoint.

It is why many of our leaders lie and steal and get away with it. After all they are only sharing the national cake, which belongs to everybody but nobody in particular. And who wants to catch them? EFCC? Pls try again.

We the followers are not much different, as long as we can afford to fence our own compounds and provide for our basic amenities like electricity and water, the rest of the nation can go to rot.

So back to the bucket-list, what can we do to change our priorities from that of merely surviving to actually flourishing as Nigerians living in Nigeria? How can we make a paradigm shift from our attitude of consumption to that of contribution? Where do we even begin from?
My mum once mentioned this phrase while praying for my siblings and I recently, “They didn’t choose to be Nigerians…”
Neither did you. But now that you’re here, why not make your impact felt?
I’m Nigerian and Blessed.
*ASUU: Academic Staff Union of Universities

*EFCC: Economic and Financial Crime Commission

DAY 24- When Enough is NOT Enough.

Welcome back.

Today was a mixture of feelings…both good and bad. I know feelings are flimsy and I shouldn’t be controlled by them…blah, blah. *Sighs*

Anyway, God is good…tomorrow can ONLY be Better! Amen. 

I’ll share my thoughts on what I personally consider a struggle. It’s the dilemma I’m often faced with when I think about the Effort vs Result Orientation. 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always wondered why the best of efforts don’t yield the best of results. I mean, all through my academic pursuits, there have always been a select few who score good grades without putting in so much. By that I mean the typical hours of study, class attendance, assignments and so forth. Well, some would say such folks are just naturally brilliant, maybe. But it doesn’t seem fair to those that really worked hard, does it? Again, maybe the other folks didn’t study effectively. That’s also possible. 

Sometime in June, I and some friends shared our views on what each of us considered more important, between efforts and results. It was interesting to know that of the four of us, two people said efforts, while the other two said results. I was in the latter category. Obviously we all had genuine reasons to support our claims. For the effort-oriented folks, the process was always a compensation for the product. However disappointing the outcome is, putting in their best is good ENOUGH. Not so for the likes of me, I find it frustrating when my efforts don’t correlate with the results I get. Everytime I see the need to succeed more, I put in a little more effort. Well, it often works. 

After that discussion, I pondered some more. To be sincere, in times past I could be described as slow, lazy, indecisive and lacking initiative. Efforts didn’t come to me easily, maybe because I’m not naturally self-motivated. Hence, I dose up on anything substantial (from God’s WORD, to Inspiring quotes, books, messages, songs, prayers and Life-changing stories) to stay upbeat. I know not everyone favors motivational speakers and their mumbo-jumbo, some persons claim that they are left feeling empty after the initial euphoria fades. Well, I guess we all are wired differently. In essence, I always try to keep my GOAL(s) in view as I go through the Process in order to stay motivated. And I believe every Journey I embark upon, should lead to my desired destination. 

Well, I’ve had an ongoing situation for sometime now, that has lately made me depressed. Yes, I’ve prayed about it. Yes, I’ve sought counsel. Yes, I’ve tried several available options. Despite my best efforts however, nothing seems to be working. The truth is I feel frustrated and vulnerable. I just want a POSITIVE result, and as SOON as possible.

Knowing my orientation and current situation, What do I do since doing Enough is NOT Enough? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Thank you for reading!