JULY 2019|| On Adulting, Being Single and Living in Nigeria.

Hey guys,

Welcome to JULY. 

Disclaimer: This post is a RANT and it may or may not make much sense. 

For a while now I’ve been ruminating on each of these three topics in no particular order. And the more I think about them, the more questions I have begging for answers. 

I hope you my dear readers will shed some insight with me as I share my thoughts below. 

Thank you in advance. 

||On Adulting: 

About two years ago while jobless and becoming increasingly frustrated as I searched for one, I wrote this post 

Tbh, I’m still yet to figure out this whole Adulting thing. 

In fact, the older I get the more complicated the concept seems to be. 

As a kid I thought becoming an adult meant having my own space, making my own money, and just doing my own thing, but nothing could be further from the truth than that.

It’s an irony that everyone knows what I’m supposed to be doing with my adult life except me. 

In other words, my business is practically everybody’s business from parents to close relatives, to colleagues at work, to the society at large. 

Everyday I’m faced with choices of what to do with my money, my time and even my energy.

“Eunice, you must get a side hustle o.” 

“Why do I need a side hustle?”

“Because you need an extra source of income.” 

“What if I’m not interested in having an extra source of income?”

“Do you know how hard it is to survive in this Economy with just your salary?”

For some reasons, I’ve still not been able to convince myself about the side-hustle thing, as most of the popular options (i.e. hands-on skills like baking, sewing etc) do not interest me. 

So in recent times my focus has been on saving at all costs, and my dilemma is always whether to spend or not to spend money.

Should I buy a new pair of shoes or save the money to buy gas?

Should I buy soup ingredients that will last a few days with this N2000 or just buy a KFC takeout for dinner instead?

Should I invest all this money in mutual funds or spend part of it in buying Asoebi for my friend’s wedding?

And if I’m to be completely honest, my common sense doesn’t always win in this regard. 

Again, why does Adulting have to be this hard?

***

||On being single: 

This is another shocking realization for me. Being single is not always as rosy as it is portrayed to be. 

Or maybe I’ve been trying too hard at being optimistic as a single lady. 

Of course the freedom to “do me” most times is something I don’t take for granted. 

Still, why does my heart do flip-flops each time I come across a couple doing PDA?

And why did no one warn me that seeing faces of cute babies whether online or in real life will make my ovaries scream in expectation?

What about instances when the innocent smile of a gentleman causes my heart to melt into whipped ice cream ? 

Countless times, I’ve had to remind myself that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and unwholesome thoughts cannot be entertained there. 

A number of times I even find myself reporting to a fellow believer, asking for prayers and encouragement because I can’t seem to concentrate with my raging hormones.

To be single is hard work, no wonder many people younger than me are running off to get married. 

And as for the married people that like to intimidate us with this annoying cliché “you’ll understand better when you’re married,” please what is your purpose in this life?

Why can’t we understand better now?

Do we have to earn marital wisdom through “trial and error?”

If I can’t wrap my head around taking care of just myself on some days, how do married couples manage to take care of themselves (their jobs, children, finance, inlaws, health etc) on a daily basis without going crazy?

What is the secret you people are not telling us?

And enough of trying to sugarcoat the truth, please tell us as it is. 

Let’s know if we’re truly mature enough to handle it. 

***

||On Living in Nigeria.

To live in any country can be challenging, but to live in a struggling third world country such as Nigeria is nothing short of exasperating.

Living in Nigeria demands a certain level of courage and doggedness that you don’t even know you have.

It’s only a few months to 2020 and we are no where near achieving the 24 hour/day electricity supply promised by our founding fathers. 

Shall we talk about the despicable state of many of our major roads? 

Or the constant nightmare of encountering highway marauders despite the numerous security checkpoints?

And while our political leaders and law enforcers are a far cry from the ideal, the average nigerian citizen is also as corrupt as they come.

We believe the only way to get even is by cheating a system that has woefully failed us. 

So we don’t mind being dubious about our tax returns.

We falsify academic results to get appointment letters and refuse to pay for electricity, water supply or waste disposal, if we can help it. 

Our attitude to work whether in the private or public sector is so nonchalant. 

The aim of the average Nigerian employee is to do as little as possible but get the highest benefit. 

An average Nigerian doesn’t mind shunting the queues whether in the banking hall, on the highway or in the supermarket.

How do we solve a problem like Nigeria? Where do we even begin from?

Should we all just leave and forget about this annoying country?

***

*PDA: Public Display Of Affection.

Cheers,

:::requ1ne:::

     ❤️❤️❤️

Musings 1.0|| Hello

Hello there!

It’s been a while, I know.

I really missed this space but life has been happening lately, behind the scenes.

Mostly work, work and more work!

It became so overwhelming at some point that I had to take a break.

This Adulting life no be beans o!

I almost miss the days when I had no job sef. 

But hey, 

We don’t complain, right?

Because…


I would have loved to chill here a little more, but the emergency paediatric unit can be such a marketplace on some days.

My body needs some rest in advance. Lol.

Much love to the paediatricians out there, thank you for all you do!

:::requ1ne:::


SUNDAY MUSINGS

#Random

I’ve been so bored in the last few days, despite all the activities going on around me. 
Quick backstory.

My phone fell on the floor about a week ago and the battery was wrecked in the process. 

So I couldn’t use a smartphone for a while.

I became so restless and emotional…that I actually shed a few tears.😥

Don’t judge.

If you have a phone addiction like me…do like this 👆


No IG, No Facebook, No Whatsapp, No Music, No selfies, No e-books…😥😫

Nothing. 

…what an “amebo-less” life that was.

And it was only for a few days o.

Anyway, my SR wouldn’t hear of me not having a phone and my mom had previously threatened to come down when she didn’t hear from me in 48 hours.

After searching my immediate neighborhood for a new battery without luck, I did what any responsible adult would do and bought a new smaller, phone. 

Well, what do you expect of a phone worth N4,500? 


Just Text messages and Phone calls…abi?

The only plus was, it had space for 3 SIM cards. Not that I needed more than one anyway.

I was jejely using my new phone until one fine afternoon, a gentleman asked about my new phone and how much I bought it.

I told him.

Well, let’s just say the convo afterwards left me speechless.

Bottomline was, he thought I was too (what’s the word sef? Extravagant?) to have spent such an amount on an ordinary phone.

Tbh, I wanted an even cheaper phone but that was the best I could get then. Plus I didn’t have the luxury of time to visit more shops.

He then showed me his (alternate) phone. And I think he mentioned how way cheaper it was. 

I was stunned.

In my mind I was like, 

Bros, how is it even your business?


There I was still mourning the use of my old phone.

And this bros wants to add pepper to injury. Chai!

My Money. My Choice.

I eventually didn’t pay too much attention to how it ended, I guess I just ignored him and zoned out of the conversation.

The moral of my story is, why don’t we all learn to mind our business?

But really.

Does it take so much effort to keep our opinions of some things to ourselves?

I’ve come to a conclusion, like Courtesy, minding one’s business is a LIFE SKILL that should be learnt. 

Even the bible says so.

“Make it your aim to live a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to earn your own living, just as we told you before.”

‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭4:11‬ ‭GNB‬‬


It’s annoying when people of all sizes come to tell me 

  • what to wear (including not wearing my eyeglasses all the time-not minding that I wear -5 lenses cos of Myopia, because I look prettier without it😏)
  • where to live (how I should start writing some foreign exams so I can port ASAP👣-  like I’m clueless about my own life😁,
  • what specialty to apply for (and it better not be NeuroCardiothoracic Surgery) because I’m a woman and need more family time🙄) and even 
  • who to marry (I’m always reminded not to marry a short or dark skinned guy😂, so we don’t give birth to charcoal black dwarves. Boo, can you hear them?)

A number of times I’m tempted to just shut these well-meaning but ill-informed people up and say, 

Thanks for your unsolicited advice but you’re NOT welcome. 

I’ll  be lying to say I don’t occasionally chook mouth inside people’s businesses too

Like when I randomly see someone’s wedding gown on Facebook or IG, and I’m like she should have made it longer or fuller or finer...and what not. And I do this a lot actually.🙈

Then I remember, it is really not my busines and I should save my energy for my own FUTURE wedding dress and other matters arising…😉

Gotta run now. A patient is waiting.🏩

:::requ1ne:::

 ❤️❤️❤️

TO BE A KID AGAIN…

At a quarter to 30, with most of my contemporaries already married, about to marry, or with one or more kids to care for, here I am in my parents’ house, boasting of being the deputy administrator of household affairs, a title that exists only in my imagination.

“U-U, what’s for dinner?”

Eba and Egusi soup” I reply, rolling my eyes as I stroll towards the kitchen.

It’s because you’re still in this house. 

I’ll leave when it’s time.

While some half my age are already earning their pay, I’m here excited to be dashed 2k by my dad to buy the data I needed to publish what you’re now reading.

Arrant nonsense! Please grow up. My mind tells me.

Thank you, my daddy is not complaining. 

I applied to a place recently but was rejected, I called my mom on my way home, tearing up like a toddler. 

Are you for real? At your age, shoe size and marital status??

Lemme jaare. Is it a crime to cry? I know Jesus loves me.

I’ve been mood swinging for a few days, I know it’s between PMS and Satan’s tactics yet can’t help but feel dejected. 

COME ON, SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY…YOU ARE AN A-D-U-L-T!!!

 *sighs* That was blunt. Oh, to be a kid again.

Please someone should explain to me what this Adulting thing is really about. 

Because I’m beginning to think it’s some cheap form of blackmail. 

I don’t even know if I know what it means to be ready for it. 

What defines an adult? 

Is it about the many responsibilities that life randomly throws your way? Or is there more to it?

Do share your thoughts.

:::requ1ne:::

❤️❤️❤️