Book Review|| Ask It

Author: Andy Stanley

Genre: Christian, Non-Fiction



||How I came across the book 

A friend of mine shared a few e-books on a social media platform I belong to and this book was part of it. 

||Expectations

While in medical school, one of my friends, Tyn, introduced me to Pastor Andy Stanley’s sermons. He’s one of the most down-to-earth preachers I’ve listened to, so I knew the message in his book would be no different.

||Lessons

If you’re like most people, some of the decisions you wish you could unmake led to chapters of your life you wish you could go back and relive.

Some of our greatest regrets started with choices that we convinced ourselves were good ones.  

While nobody plans to mess up their lives, problem is that few of us plan not to.

You don’t sit around looking for reasons to do the right thing; it’s the bad decisions that require creative reasoning.

Asking the right question, exposes the irrationality of our excuses, reveals our true intent, penetrates the walls of rationalization behind which we are prone to hide and dismantles the arguments we use to keep the truth at arm’s length. 

The question that sets us up for success where it counts, is: What’s the wise thing to do?

What’s morally and culturally permissible is not always what’s best for us.

To foolproof your life, you must ask it of every invitation, every opportunity, every relationship. “What is the wise thing for me to do?”

These are evil days. If you don’t pay attention, you will end up paying a price for your carelessness. 

Your personal history is unique to you. And the sum of your past experiences predisposes you toward specific weaknesses and strengths in your relationships, finances, and career.

So every decision, invitation, and opportunity that comes your way needs to be filtered through this question: In light of my past experience, what’s the wise thing to do?

Chances are, there are places you have no business visiting because of your history—places that would have no impact on the average person, but the average person doesn’t share your experience with those environments. 

What’s wise in this season of life may be unwise in the next. And vice versa.

We only get one shot at every season of life. Whether or not we learned anything becomes evident in the seasons that follow.

If we don’t intentionally opt for wisdom, then we accidentally opt for foolishness.

The tragedy of being a fool is that eventually you’ll inflict harm upon someone else. There’s always collateral damage.

If there is one commodity we must learn to handle wisely, it is our time. Think about it. You can make more money, make new friends, take more trips, maybe even have another child. But your allotment of time is inflexible. You only get so much of it. 

Time not spent wisely simply goes away. And there is no way to recover a minute of it. There is no leftover. It can’t be saved up for later. 

Neglect has a cumulative effect physically, relationally, spiritually, professionally, financially, and emotionally.

As a follower of Christ, your values are constantly being challenged—challenged by another value system. 

If you aren’t on your guard, the culture will draw you into a lifestyle where your time is frivolously consumed rather than strategically invested.

So in the light of your past, your present, and your future hopes and dreams, what needs to change about the way you are spending your time? What do you need to stop doing? 

Our greatest moral regrets are always preceded by a series of unwise choices. Not wrong choices, not impermissible, not illegal, but unwise.

Relationships don’t stand still. They are always going somewhere, uphill or downhill. 

Everybody who has ever allowed things to go that far never intended them to go that far. That’s exactly why things went that far. 

It takes more than good intentions to cross the finish line in any area of life.

None of us plan—or intend—to get into trouble. To leave yourself no margin for error morally is about the most insensitive thing you can do to those you love.

There should be boundaries that are so far from the line of regret that, were we to cross one, we would suffer little or no consequences. 

Long after men and women come to grips with God’s forgiveness, those who have sinned sexually still wrestle to forgive themselves.

If you are single, you need to predecide how physically involved you should become in a dating context. You need to predecide your entertainment options.

If you don’t have your own personal standards, others will force theirs on you.

In the beginning, God didn’t just create the heavens and the earth. In the beginning, God created sex. It was his idea! He gave sex to us as a gift—a gift that comes with instructions.

When sex is enjoyed the way God originally intended, the result is intimacy.

Emotions can make it hard to see straight, think straight, decide straight. 

This is usually the case when love, lust, money, or a crisis is involved—these are not emotionally neutral environments.

Wise people know when they don’t know, and they’re not afraid to go to those who do know. 

We can convince ourselves that our private lives are nobody else’s business. Private decisions have public consequences.

You will never be all you’re capable of being unless you tap the wisdom of the wise people around you. 

Experience is a good teacher, especially if it is other people’s experience. There’s no point in learning something the hard way if someone else has already paid that price.

One of the primary reasons we don’t seek counsel from the wise people around us is that we already know what we are going to hear and we don’t want to hear it.

When we resist presenting our options to the wise people around us for fear of hearing what we don’t want to hear, we are fools. And in the end, we pay. Fools always pay.

Asking for help is not a reflection of your lack of wisdom, it is actually an evidence of wisdom. 

It is what you know and what you do with what you know that make the difference.

Wisdom begins with a proper understanding of who God is and who we are not.

Every time you make a wise decision, you are applying or surrendering to one of God’s principles. 

God desires that your life be a masterpiece that reflects his greatness and your uniqueness. But to create a masterpiece with our lives, we must submit ourselves to the hand of the Master.

In light of your past experience, your current circumstance, and your future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for you to do?

||Conclusion

No one rises above the need for wise counsel. No one. In fact, the more successful we become, the more we need it because there is usually more at stake in the decisions we make.


||Observations

This is a practical, easy-to-understand and authentic read. I like how the author doesn’t mince words. This is definitely a “say it as it really is” book. 

||Recommendations

Every young believer who wants to as much as possible, live a regret-free life, will benefit from this book.

:::requ1ne:::
    ❤️❤️❤️

10 Days In Abuja (Part 1)

Hello Fam,

Welcome back to my blog.

One of my goals this year was to go on a proper vacation within Nigeria. 

Like, girl…live a little and have some fun. 

While I was an international medical student, I had the opportunity to experience the culture and cuisine of a few other countries, and that opened up a whole new world for me. 

Since my return, I’ve looked forward to experiencing the rich historical and diverse cultural heritage of my home country, Nigeria. 

And somewhere on my mental bucket list, I plan to tour the length and breadth of Nigeria hopefully before I clock 60. So help me God. 

One of the places I was hoping to visit this year, was the Erinjesha waterfall, a popular tourist site in Osun state. 

Image: Erinjesha Waterfall

Somehow life happened and going for that trip was no longer a priority. Still I craved some sort of vacation for this year.

So when HRH suggested that I come over to Abuja – primarily to visit his folks – I jumped at the idea.

Thankfully, I got a leave-of-absence from my workplace and had the opportunity to go on this trip, the highlights of which I’ll be sharing in a 3-part series. 

You Can Also Read: 

– My Nigerian Passport And Four Countries

This is Lagos

Enjoy!

***

Abuja, is a beautiful city located right in the heart of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) of Nigeria. 

According to Wikipedia.org, it is the eighth largest and one of the fastest growing cities in the world. 

A city known for its ambience and class, Abuja is definitely a must-see for any first-time visitor to Nigeria. 


5 Things You Should Know About Abuja:


1. Abuja is a well-planned city.

In the whole of Africa, Abuja is the only capital city that was built from ground up. Which means, the city didn’t just happen, it was engineered. 

The Federal Government of Nigeria, relocated the capital city from Lagos to Abuja in 1991, because of its central location and the ability to attract people from most of the ethnic groups in Nigeria.

Most of the buildings and road networks in Abuja, were carefully planned from the onset which makes life easier in every way imaginable. 

2. Abuja has a high cost of living. 

Compared to other major cities across Nigeria, the standard of living in the heart of Abuja is quite expensive, from the cost of renting an apartment, to transportation to feeding. 

No wonder it’s easily assumed that it’s only the rich who can afford to rich there.

Many low-income/middle-income earners prefer to stay around Abuja suburbs like Gwagalada, Nyanya and Kubwa.

3. Abuja is beautiful.

Dotted with many plazas, gardens, parks and skyscraper buildings, the city of Abuja is a real beauty that boasts of some of the best architectural designs in the country.

To the average Nigerian, Abuja city is like mini-abroad. Everywhere is fancy and sparkling.




4. Abuja is home to many cooperate organizations, religious bodies and government agencies. 

As the capital city, most of national institutions, have their head offices located in Abuja. 

There are also a few notable organizations like ECOWAS who have their headquarters in Abuja.

5. Abuja has a low-crime rate.

Abuja is said to be one of the safest cities in Nigeria, as the security measures around the city are generally more efficient. 

If you’re looking for a serene environment to raise a family in Nigeria, Abuja is definitely a place to consider. 

(Credits: connectnigeria.com, buzznigeria.com )

***

DAY 1: Trip to/Arrival in Abuja

Before my trip to Abuja, HRH and I discussed and made a well planned itinerary for the duration of my stay.

The initial plan was to travel by road (about 8 hours from Ibadan) but my mom would not have it. So she persuaded me to take a flight (and guess who paid for the fare?)

My flight was scheduled for 12:50 pm but for some reasons I did not get ready on time. 

Thankfully with my brother as my designated chauffeur, I still got to the airport in time. 

Although the last time I took a local flight was 2 years ago, I was able to check in without hassles.

My first irritation came as we were about to board. 

A rude airport official grabbed the bottle of water I’d just purchased from a shop in the waiting area from me.

Hian!!!

It made me really mad because there was an older woman also on the queue, who was holding a bottle of water and no one harassed her. 

That incident really pissed me off for the rest of the trip.

And just as I was entering the aircraft, a strong odor from the restroom greeted me, it was really disgusting. 

Arik Air can do better, please. 

Because I scheduled my trip during the festive season (a Muslim celebration), it appeared everyone and their kinsmen were traveling, so the aircraft was filled up.

Many of the families had small kids, and there was an especially fussy toddler whose tantrums were partly entertaining and partly a nuisance for the duration of the trip.

Our flight took off around 1:13 pm and we had a stopover of approximately 20 minutes at the Ilorin. 

We took off again some minutes after 2 pm and landed in Abuja just before 3 pm.

The rest of the trip was pleasant enough. 

#SophiaShotIt
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HRH was already at the airport awaiting my arrival and the first thing I did when I saw him was to rant about my ordeal during the trip.

You know na, some gists are best served hot.😉

Even as a returning visitor, I was still very impressed by the serene atmosphere I met on entering Abuja. 

#SophiaShotIt
The trip from the Airport to my sister’s house lasted over an hour but was it was quite stress free.

On getting to her house, HRH dropped me off. After putting away away my luggage, I spent the rest of my evening unwinding and looking forward to many days of adventure ahead. 
__

HRH: His Royal Highness. The Crown Prince of my heart.

Just so you know, this happened sometime in July. 😍🙈❤️

#SophiaShotIt



(To be continued)

PS: Unless otherwise indicated, all images are from the WEB.

:::requ1ne:::

     ❤️❤️❤️

October 2019|| The 6Ps Of Purpose.

Hello Fam😍,

It’s good to be back.

Although October is almost halfway gone, I still want to welcome you warmly into this amazing month filled with loads of goodness. 

God has been so good to me (and mine) this month and my heart is full of gratitude. 

There have been so many testimonies in the lives of friends and family, with things that seemed impossible becoming a reality because #GodDidIt

Anyway, back to the post.

Lately I’ve had cause to ponder on the brevity of life as we know it and what it actually means to live. 

Everyone born in time has something unique to offer their generation, sadly only a few do. 

PURPOSE is not what a lot of people have misconstrued it to be.

Some think purpose is all about being in the limelight all the time, like Celebrities and Politicians.

Others think purpose is reserved for a few people with special callings like Clerics and Soldiers.

Purpose simply means LIVING MEANINGFULLY. It is more about who you are than what you do.

Purpose is about bringing solutions to some of the diverse problems that plague humankind and enriching other people’s lives in a positive way.

It’s only by Living on Purpose that each of us can sincerely answer the question, “What am I here for?”

In this post I’ll be sharing some simple tips on how to live on purpose.

Enjoy! 

***                      

1. PRAYER:

Prayer is not just the “Birthplace” of Purpose, it is also from where we draw the strength to live purposefully each day. 

In the absence of prayer, most of us would live aimlessly in this distracted world. 

Prayer gives us the clarity, focus and strength to persevere in each season of our lives. 

When we seek God’s guidance on what to do, he gives us a sense of direction. 

For me becoming a medical doctor was not by accident, Purpose led me here. 

My patients are drawn to me. I take time to listen to and empathize with them. I do my best to communicate everything I do to them. I’m patient in answering their questions and allaying their fears. 

And no matter how frustrating my job as a doctor gets, I know I’m doing it because someone still needs me. 

_
What direction is God leading you to in this season?


2. POTENTIALS:

Each of us has been gifted with an ability to meet some specific needs around us.

No matter how little or insignificant your gift seems, it can make a difference in the world.

Some have natural talents that are easy to recognize like Singing, Acting or Dancing. 

Others discover their talents quite by chance then choose to improve on them e.g. Writing and Public speaking. 

I am good at organizing events. I’m the party planner in my family. I enjoy initiating and hosting get-to-gethers, not because I’m a social bee but for the sheer joy of planning them. 

Sometimes, I even generate and draft out ideas for programs on paper for the fun of it. 

That’s also why Routines and To-do-lists are my thing. I’m very good with detailed planning and I enjoy helping others with it. 

_
What are you good at? What have others commended you for?

3. PASSION

As fuel is to fire, so is passion to purpose. 

Passion is what keeps you awake at 2 a.m, filling your head with exciting ideas that won’t stop coming.

Passion keeps you going when others get tired.  

Your Passion is what gives you the conviction that every kobo spent, every tear shed and every milestone reached, is worth the trouble.

Passion gets you talking even when there’s no one to listen. 

I’m passionate about Personal Development. 

It’s why I spend a lot of time alone, reflecting, brainstorming and encouraging myself to be my best so that I can give my best to others.

Transformed lives give me joy and I love to inspire people. I enjoy celebrating dreams that come through despite the obstacles encountered. 

It’s the major reason why I do the Accountability Challenge. I want to see people grow from where they are, to where they should be.  

_
What are you passionate about?


4. PRIORITIES:

When you’re walking in purpose, your priorities can’t help but align. 

Your priorities determine where you invest most of your time, your money and your energy. 

Reading for me is more than a hobby, reading is a lifestyle. 

So I can’t help but love books. Books have changed my life. They have transformed me and given me the wings to fly. 

I’m a Bibliophile. I love to read. I buy books. I download them. I re-read old books. I review books on my blog. I recommend books to people and harass my friends to share new books with me. 

My philosophy is simple. To be better today, than I was yesterday. And that is why I read. 

_
What are your priorities?


5. PRINCIPLES:

Principles serve as the core foundation for your Purpose. They are those things you cannot compromise on, no matter how difficult a situation is.

Your principles should guide you in every decision you make, whether about money, relationships or fame.

I value Integrity, Fairness and Responsibility. These principles reflect my core beliefs as a Christian. 

As much as possible, who I am on the inside is who I try to be on the outside. I’m open with my struggles. I don’t pretend to have it all together. And I’m quick to let go of influences that will likely lead me astray.

I try to be fair in my dealings with people no matter their age, ethnic group or socioeconomic status. I do my best to apologize when I’m wrong and forgive when I’m offended. 

I do my best to be responsible in my commitment to work, the church and to friends and family. I am considerate of other people’s feelings and I try not to let them down intentionally. 


What principles do you live by?


6. PLEASURE:

In the long run, your purpose will give you a sense of satisfaction no matter how physically or mentally demanding it is.

Writing makes me happy. It’s why I blog. It’s hardwork and takes time, but it is my gift to the world.
Anytime I get amazing feedbacks, I know that I’m doing what I really should be doing. 

I also enjoy chronicling my journey and the lessons I’m learning, so I keep journals. It has made such a remarkable impact on my growth that I decided to share this gift with others. And that was why I designed the Requine’s Journal. 

_
What do you do that gives you pleasure?
***
Which of these six points speak to you the most? Please leave a comment.

Cheers to a Purposeful October. 

:::requ1ne:::     

     ❤️❤️❤️