Between THEN & NOW…

For a while now, the 25th of every month comes with an “unusual” impression in my mind. 

For some reasons, without any prior prompting I begin to feel uneasy and then I check my calendar. 

Lo and behold, it’s the 25th. Good grief.

More often than not, the 25th takes me back…down memory lane.

Of what was…and what could have been. 

If only…

And sometimes, it’s tempting to return to the past, my past.

That part of me that was left behind. 

The tiny, almost lifeless hope that longed for something that seemed beyond reach. 

The dreams I had. The future I had envisioned. The life I had designed by/for myself…

I particularly remember one December morning of the same date, how I sat in front of the TV in tears, with my soul naked and bare, as I tried to numb the pain in my mind with some junk food.

Oh, what pitiful condition I was in that Christmas morning. Of all days. 

I’d been depressed and frustrated for sometime. So I shed tears after tears, with no one to console me. I tried to pray too but that only brought more tears. 

There are days I really want to forget all about it, put a key to the lock and say goodbye FOREVER.

But some memories haunt and others hurt still. Crushed hopes and wasted dreams can hardly be recovered.

And there are days I’m not just sure, if the right thing I did was really the right thing to do…

In all of these, I’ve come to reflect on God’s grace that has brought me thus far between THEN and NOW. 

Here I am still…healing, learning and growing. As I mark yet another 25th on my calendar.

And today, I’m reminded of the lyrics of this song that was my favorite years back:


Along life’s roads 

There will be sunshine and rain,

Roses and thorns,

Laughter and pain,

And ‘cross the miles,

You will face mountains so steep,

Deserts so long and valleys so deep.

Sometimes the Journey is gentle,

Sometimes the cold winds blow,

But I want you to remember, 

I want you to know…

You’ll never walk alone, 

As long as you have faith,

Jesus will be right beside you all the way…

And you may feel you’re far from home,

But home is where he is,

And he’ll be there down every road,

You’ll never walk alone.


I’m rest assured that through this Journey, I will never WALK ALONE. 

And I’m also reminded of this part of the scriptures that I love so much:

Psalm 25:1-5 (GNB)

“To you, O Lord I offer my prayer;

in you, my God, I trust. Save me from the shame of defeat; don’t let my enemies gloat over me!

Defeat does not come to those who trust in you, but to those who are quick to rebel against you.

Teach me your ways, O Lord; make them known to me.

Teach me to live according to your truth, for you are my God who saves me. I always trust in you.”

I know that as I continue to trust God with my PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE, I won’t be defeated. And like the Psalmist, my enemies will not gloat over me. But I will rejoice over them instead. Amen.

Thank you for reading,



2 thoughts on “Between THEN & NOW…

  1. Thanks for sharing. Truth be told: The energy required to totally dump the past is enormous. We pray God for strength, not to forget our past but that it won’t deter us from moving forward. My pains remind me of my victory and fragility. I like the blend. Thanks Eunice. Keep sharing

    1. “We pray God for strength, not to forget our past but that it won’t deter us from moving moving forward.”

      Double likes for that line.

      Thank you for reading, sir.

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