The valentine’s day is officially over in my part of the world, so everyone of us, whether “single” or “double,” can go back to status quo…lol.
I was telling some friends yesterday, how that’s the second time in about ten years, that yours truly is Booless on a Val’s day. 😁😂
And truly speaking, the thought made me sober for a couple of minutes.
I honestly got used to being loved up and pampered on Val’s day, whether I was in a long-distance or short-distance relationship. But we are where we are today, and we don’t complain, we give thanks …😉
Sometime last year, I wrote this article on ways to practically prepare yourself for marriage, and I thought to share it with other singles, who would love to maximize this season of their lives.
Please note that this post applies to both ladies and gentlemen, and is in no way exhaustive.
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- Invest in spiritual growth.
Cultivate the habit of seeking God’s face in your closet. Ask to be filled with the Holyspirit and learn to discern his will at all times.
Pray so that you don’t become a prey to the wicked one. There are so many temptations out there.
Attend church meetings regularly and serve faithfully too. Submit to your spiritual leader. It’s for your own good.
Have a bible study plan. Meditate on God’s word and journal your reflections. Let your faith not just be in theory, apply God’s word to your everyday life.
Join a home cell or small group, to build intimacy with fellow believers and have spiritual accountability.
Get your friends together (physically or online), to study the scriptures, pray for and admonish one another.
- Invest in domestic skills.
Hone your cooking skills (try new recipes, both local & exotic), research on healthy dietary plans and learn to meal prep.
Practice keeping your house and immediate surroundings clean and tidy.
“Sister single, please normalize fixing simple things around the house (like, replacing the light bulb).”
Learn to go to the market by yourself, to negotiate prices and make wholesale purchases. Not everytime shopping at Shoprite.
“Brother single, I hope you know the current prices of tomatoes & onions?”
Learn how to organize and make your living space beautiful and comfortable. Carefully pick out your furniture, wallpapers and other decors.
These are essential habits that can give you a headstart when you get married.
- Invest in meaningful relationships.
Don’t be a recluse.
It’s tempting to want to “dey your dey,” as a single person, especially when most of your contemporaries are married or taken. But it’s unhealthy to keep to yourself all the time.
Learn to reach out to others and welcome them into your space. You deserve to be loved, even if you don’t have a significant other yet.
Hospitality, communication skills, tolerance, kindness, and conflict resolution, are some of the values you learn, when you interact regularly with others.
It is also good to visit older relatives and family friends, so you get the opportunity to babysit their kids. It’s not too early to learn about changing diapers and potty training, if parenting is something you someday desire.
- Invest in knowledge and personal development.
Learn more about yourself. Study your primary and secondary temperaments.
Start by taking a personality assessment. It is important to know your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your core values and guiding principles.
Attend sound marriage seminars, and read godly books on dating and parenting.
Learn to budget, to save and to invest. Avoid debts if you can. Financial incompatibility is a red flag in any romantic relationship.
Learn how to drive and get your driver’s license. You don’t even need to own a car, just do it.
- Invest in self-care.
Prioritize taking care of your physical and mental health.
Learn the art of self-grooming.
Pay attention to your personal hygiene- Brush and Floss. Shave regularly too. Be generous with the use of deodorants and body spray.
Do your manicure and pedicure as often as you can. Say NO to chipped fingernails or cracked feet.
Keep your hair neat and your beard well trimmed.
“Dear brother single, please when last did you change your towel or bedsheet?”
Be responsible about your health.
Don’t just buy over-the-counter medications every time, go for routine medical check up.
Get your blood pressure and sugar level checked. Ensure you know your genotype and blood group.
Work on your weight and build up those muscles, don’t wait until you have a potbelly.
Upgrade your wardrobe regularly. You deserve to look good.
Wear befitting clothes (including nighties and undies), shoes and accessories.
Learn to pamper yourself. Gift yourself a full body massage at the spa.
Not every time bread and akara, sometimes treat yourself to some pizza and ice cream.
Hangout with friends to Netflix and Chill. And if you can afford to go to the cinema to see a movie, and buy yourselves some popcorn and hotdogs, please do.
Don’t postpone your enjoyment simply because you’re single.
- Invest in living.
The best time to discover and start to live out your purpose is NOW.
Build your career skills. Update your CV. Apply for that new job or a scholarship to further your studies. Expand your network.
Start that business. Write that book. Record that podcast. Set up that website.
Travel wide. Tick your bucket list.
Set new goals and ace them.
Buy a landed property if you can.
“Dear sister single, it’s okay to buy a car, move into a bigger apartment and get a whole set of furniture and electronic gadgets. It’s also okay to have your Master’s and go for your PhD. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Your possibilities are endless when you embrace living. Nothing will stop you, unless you stop yourself.
With these few points of mine, I hope, I have been able to convince you that being single is a blessing, if you make the most of it. 😂